Ak57\’s Weblog

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Archive for the ‘Personal’ Category

Anwar’s Trial, Day 2 Briefing

Jonson Chong, Mustaffa Kamil, Razlan, Amiruddin Shaari

I dropped by HQ tonight for the first nightly briefing on the trial proceedings. Attendees were mostly reporters and local PKR grassroots.

Jonson Chong, PKR Director of Communications started the briefing by stating that:

  • Karpal Singh requested the judge to cite Utusan Malaysia for contempt of court due to the headline it ran today.
  • The judge ruled that there were no grounds for contempt of court, the defence can make a police report (which they did)
  • What was stated in the article implies that multiple acts of sodomy occurred, but the charges are only for one

Razlan (I believe he’s assisting Anwar’s legal team) then continued:

  • Today’s proceedings were held in camera at Karpal Singh’s request, so lawyers are not allowed to discuss what transpired
  • There was concern that the contents of the testimony would be damaging to the court proceedings if made public
  • There was a site visit to Unit 11-5-1 at the Desa Damansara Condominium by the judge and legal teams
  • There may be another site visit tomorrow to the Sekysen 16 office

Mustaffa Kamil Ayub (PKR Vice President)

  • We will continue to hold ceramah nationwide to educate people on current issues and the conspiracy that is going on in Anwar’s trial

Reporter Questions

Q: Why call Najib and Rosmah to testify?
Razlan: We know that Saiful met Najib prior to the alleged sodomy, so we want them to testify for the record.

Q: Can we have the court proceedings telecast live online?
Razlan: You can request, but normally that is not done.

Q: What about Saiful’s implication that sodomy occurred multiple times, and was the Can I F U remark made the first time or another time?
Razlan: That is outside the scope of the court proceedings, what I can say is the charges are for one incident.

Q: Do you have any comment on the turmoil in the Pakatan states primarily in Penang?
Mustaffa: We are not a party of angels, but it is clear that acts of destabilisation are going on. Small differences of opinion are being magnified and issues blown up out of proportion.

Q: What if Anwar is found guilty?
Mustaffa: I am confident that Pakatan Rakyat will go on.

Q: I’m sorry for this sensitive question, but why does Anwar use a condominium for his meetings when he has a house and office to use? This applies both now and in 1999 when he used Tivoli Villa.
Mustaffa: It is difficult for me to comment, but I can say that Anwar is a humble man and does not mind going to his friend’s house for a meeting. He does not stand on ceremony, you don’t have to go up to see him but rather he will come down to see you.

*Update* Date for Court of Appeal hearing has been fixed for February 12th.

Written by ak57

February 5, 2010 at 7:43 am

The Ban on Christians Reading Allah

When I was growing up I had a number of bad experiences with Christian friends trying to convert me. I’ll leave the details for another article but most of the time they would use deception by tricking me into joining their social outings that included prayers, chanting, singing hymns etc. Once the religious nature of the activity was revealed there would be an awkward situation as I excused myself. They did not respect my right to refuse, insisting that my faith was ‘wrong’ and I ‘needed to be saved’. Sometimes we would be friends for years and suddenly they would pressure me to join their faith. I have even seen Christians enter relationships with non-believers for the purpose of converting the other. I’m not making this up.

I don’t care what religion you come from but if the person you are trying to convert is not interested in listening to your preaching then you should just leave him be. Don’t force them to listen or use deception. You can’t expect people to respect your faith if you don’t respect theirs.

I initially found myself conflicted when the Roman Catholic Archbishop as publisher of The Herald went to court to get the right to use Allah to refer to God in the publication. I haven’t met a religious Christian in this country who accepts that we both worship the same God but in different ways. I have also met religious Christians who find the idea of using Allah in that context to be insulting. Obviously Christians themselves are divided on this issue.

What is the issue really? What problems could it cause? I think back to my own bad experiences. If I did not have a strong grounding in my faith, and a group of friends came up to me asking for me to join them in prayer to Allah – I would say yes. If everyone spoke in Malay and someone preached teachings from God I would listen and take it to heart. I would be happily learning about Christianity, all the while thinking it was Islam. At some point my friends would lift the veil and reveal that all that the activities that had been giving me comfort and joy were Christian activities, and Islam isn’t providing me with any of this so I should become a Christian.

So I will admit that I felt a bit uneasy because I wasn’t sure why The Herald publisher wanted to use Allah instead of Tuhan (a generic Malay word for God, used in a monotheistic context).

I soon learned that this use of Allah issue is mainly for the benefit of Sabah and Sarawak where Malaysians have been practicing Christianity in Malay for a long time, where they do use Allah instead of Tuhan. It should be a non-issue then as there is a pre-existing use of the word Allah by the church.

So why is the BN-led Federal Government playing up this issue? Why file a stay of execution on the court ruling? The Home Ministry banned the use of the word by the publisher; the publisher went to court; court ruled in favour of the publisher – it should have ended there. Dragging it out further just continues to reinforce the message that the current government suppresses the rights of Christians, Sabahans and Sarawakians.

I know that Allah is merely Arabic for God. I do support the right of Christians to print Malay bibles and related publications for their followers. Religion should not be constrained by language because it’s easier to understand if it is written in your native language. I myself have an English Al-Quran because I understand English better than any other language, and a trusted fellow Muslim recommended the translation that I have. It should be alright to use Allah in a Malay-medium Christian publication whether in Peninsular or East Malaysia.

But I can’t completely shake off the fear that young Muslims will undergo more subversive conversion tactics such as the one I described. I don’t know if you, the reader, have experienced what I have but I’m glad I did because it helps me understand why many Malay Muslims are riled up about the court ruling and plan to protest today. Without my bad experiences I too would join the many bloggers out there condemning these protestors.

If I had not been exposed to foreign culture, not learned about other religions, and stayed in one town for most of my life then I would be quite narrow minded. It is easy to criticise the mentality of the poorly educated. What I feel the government should do is accept the ruling and allow The Herald to use Allah, and focus on improving religious education at school. Better yet have a Proposition for people to vote on so each state can have its own ruling on this issue. If that is not possible then let the State Assemblies vote on it for their respective states.

Remember, there are many Muslims in this country that don’t use Internet and have a poor command of English which limits their access to television shows and newspapers. Mention of Christians using Allah in their publications is very offensive to them – even PAS is internally divided on this issue.

I have more to say, but I have not been watching this issue very closely and I’m still playing catch-up. I’ll write further on this issue soon.

Written by ak57

January 8, 2010 at 8:06 am

Ushering in 2010

I don’t think there’s much I can say about 2009 that wasn’t already covered in my previous post. One update I can share is that my ex-abuser picked a fight with me in public, totally embarrassing herself in the process. It was weird, depressing and funny at the same time. All this time I thought I would be the one to snap, but she snapped first. The aftermath of that was my being comforted by the people she expected to support her mad behavior, comfort I direly needed. It’s helped a lot.

I started this blog back in 2007 because it was relevant to my work at the time to keep tabs on the VK Lingam drama. Along the way I started cartooning which has long been a dream of mine (I’m a huge fan of single panel comics such as Far Side by Gary Larson). I also dabbled a bit in video but technology has evolved a lot since I last worked with the medium a decade ago, so catching up has been slow.

These past few months I’ve slowly been trying to evolve a new art style, the result of which you can see above. One reason is that I recently wrote a draft book, well more of a booklet really since its 70-odd pages of single panel comics which require a new art style. Another is moving on with life by leaving behind reminders of this difficult period.

This year I hope to make a return to writing, cartooning and documenting the political happenings in our country. I spent most of 2009 asleep and in a daze and need to get back in touch with current issues, and blogging is the best way to do that.

Written by ak57

January 3, 2010 at 6:38 pm

Posted in AK57 Comics, Personal

Living With Physical Abuse Trauma

It has been a difficult time, living with the pain that I have been carrying for over a year. Two weekends ago I came close to sobbing thrice, and got nothing done. Last weekend I spent most of it asleep, easily 10-12 hours in bed not because I was tired but just to escape into my dreams. Last night I got teary again, leading me to be too upset to attend an important function today.

So now I think its best to write something down, in the hope that it might help.

I started working for her early last year. Our working relationship was bad right from the start. She made racial remarks, she offered no guidance, she would avoid talking to me – there were times when I would ask her a question and she would keep quiet. Added to that was the fact that I have various health problems, one of which prevents me from travelling, so there were some company activities that I could not take part in. I let her know of this early on but she chose to pressure me to go for these activities instead. I had to endure severe physical pain.

I was in a difficult place. I enjoyed the work itself. I enjoyed working with our clients and the feeling was mutual. I had no issues with my co-workers, just her. I asked her to stop what she was doing because it was hurting me and she made false promises to stop. So, as the abuse continued I felt I had no choice but to resign. Emotional abuse in the workplace is one thing, physical abuse is another.

The first time I resigned in person her response was, ‘No, you stay here and work!’ followed by her blaming one of my co-workers, saying all our problems is that person’s fault and I need to work it out with that worker. She refused to discuss the matter further. I had no idea what she was talking about. She invented this fiction just to avoid facing the crime she had committed?

I waited a month to see if her behaviour would improve but it got worse, so I resigned a second time in writing. To avoid a nonsensical response from her I also informed our clients. Yes that was unprofessional, but I didn’t know what else to do after my first resignation. She never replied.

Months went by and I was still upset whenever I heard her name or saw her face. I couldn’t understand why – I had resigned already, so what more did I have to worry about? Yes, she made me bleed, but surely I can forget that with time.

Why am I so traumatised? It took a long time for me to realise some of the reasons:

  • I was forced out of a job that I enjoyed. Until today I still want to know what’s going on in the office and how the business is doing.
  • I was abused by my boss, whom I trusted to protect me, guide me and motivate me to continue supporting her to best of my ability. No boss can justify hurting their employee.
  • Having to keep quiet because her reputation is so good that nobody would believe me. I confided in my best friend (her friend as well) and he refused to believe me, which ended up hurting our friendship.
  • Having to keep quiet when our clients/friends asked what her problem with me was, as our body language together made it very obvious.
  • The betrayal of trust and the horror of experiencing what happened – I never expected her to behave this way.
  • Having many mutual friends, and myself attending some of the same functions as her- I will never be able to take the ‘out of sight, out of mind’ approach with these reminders.
  • Not knowing why she did what she did, right from the start. I never did anything to deserve this.

I have been living poorly since I resigned. It’s like being half-asleep all day long. I have to force myself to eat. I sleep far too much. It’s impossible to get work done at a reasonable pace. I shouldn’t have to beg for contact with her given the circumstances of my resignation, but I needed answers so I started lobbying to see her since February.

I finally met with her on July 22nd this year, just over a year since my resignation. I thought her willingness to see me meant she had cooled down and was willing to explain why she did what she did. I was wrong. First she denied I had resigned. Then she asked me to come back and work for her. She did not want to discuss the physical abuse but I insisted. She didn’t deny what she did, but only gave an insincere, “I’m sorry”. How do I know? Because I worked for her – I know the sound of her fake apology line very well. There was no shame or surprise, she just couldn’t be bothered.

To make it worse she still asked me to come back. Then she left.

I just said, ‘you physically abused me’ and her response was, ‘you can still come back’?

What madness is this?

I don’t hate her. I don’t want bad things to happen to her. I just want to know why she did it and how she lives with what she did.

I’ve lost a year of my life to this problem. It’s scary to think of all the achievements I could have made but didn’t. Now that I know I will never get my answer from her, well at least I got that confirmation. That’s the only good thing that I see coming from that meeting.

I just hope I climb out of this pit soon before I go completely mad.

Written by ak57

September 6, 2009 at 7:46 pm

Posted in Personal

A Show of Support


The outpour of support for Elizabeth since she made her offer to resign has been overwhelming. It even surpassed the public outcry and support given by the public when Teresa Kok was detained under ISA! I myself have scores of emails from her supporters clogging my inbox.

I did some research online and its safe to say that over 90% of bloggers and commenters support her and don’t want her to resign. I figured that with this level of support, the backlash against PKR (i.e. lost votes) would be severe. Wouldn’t she have to come back?

Sources within the party say it is highly unlikely, even with the public reaction as it stands now. At best she may resign the Exco position and remain an ADUN.

I’m sure right now everyone is angry, hurt and confused. We don’t know why she offered to resign. We can speculate, but we know so little. After the unending outpour of support, Elizabeth issued another statement (link) saying that she intends to resign. No more ambiguity.

I choose to respect her wishes. To chase her and plead her to stay or ask her why – this would only be more hurtful.

A Book of Support

Last Wednesday (18/2) a signature campaign was started in Bandar Utama to gather personal messages by voters and friends. Not a petition, just a way to write a few kind words to show our support.

We got 40 signatures the first day, and reached 100 the next day. A trip to the CNY dinner event opposite Amcorp Mall on Friday brought the total to 190.


Wednesday night

A couple of pages from the signature book are below, where you can see the messages penned by her PKR ADUN & MP friends:


Sivarasa, Tian Chua, Gan Pei Nei, William Leong


Wan Azizah, Azmin Ali, Syed Husein, Hee Loy Sian, Loh Gwo Burne, Ronnie Liu, Irene Fernandez

A banner of support was also put up at the Sony Bridge interchange next to Bandar Utama:


The book will be at the service centre in BU3 from Tuesday (24/2) onwards. I hope those of you who are able, drop by and sign the book. It is easy to spend a few minutes to write an email, send an sms or write a comment, but to make the journey there takes real love and dedication that I’m certain she will appreciate during this difficult time.

A Petition to the Menteri Besar

A group of NGO’s and RA’s (Residents Association) started an online petition last Wednesday which at this time has 5000 signatures. They are also running a physical petition in parallel with that. The petition is addressed to the Menteri Besar and is intended to show the level of support by her voters and friends. You can read more about it here (link).

There was a road trip today to various places in Elizabeth’s constituency to get as many signatures as possible to be submitted to the Menteri Besar on Tuesday/Wednesday. I dropped by the first stop at BU3, group photo below:

Written by ak57

February 23, 2009 at 2:52 am

An offer of resignation


I was surprised by today’s events. At first I was upset because I thought she resigned over such a minor thing. Then upon closer reading of her press statement (link) I saw the key phrase: offer my resignation.

Elizabeth’s offer to resign instead of tendering her resignation could imply that she is being pressured to resign either by the party or by some anonymous person(s). Maybe there are more damaging photos/videos which have not been released to the public. Something that creates a real scandal and brings further shame to her, her family and the party.

Whatever this ‘something’ is, its not strong enough to make her resign immediately.

I am certain she would never voluntarily resign over what has already been released, perhaps that explains today’s compromise where the final decision rests with PKR’s top leaders.

An offer of resignation (which many take as being the same as tendering resignation) appeases the voters who want their politicians to be absolute saints – and the PKR haters too.

If PKR were to refuse to allow her to resign, she retains the benefits of having already offered. Not 100% of course, but from what people tell me the offer alone was like an admission of guilt, which they found acceptable. Then she can announce that she offered, but the party and the voters want her to stay.

If PKR accepted her resignation, she keeps her pride of not allowing these photos to force her to resign. Not allowing the criminals who took them, to control her.

I have no doubt that there are other issues that prompted her action today, its not just photos.

I have my doubts that there will be a good outcome to this, but we will just have to wait and see. Don’t go celebrating or mourning just yet.


Nude photos: Wong offers to quit – Malaysiakini (link)

Tearful Wong quits over nude pix – The Malaysian Insider (link)

Written by ak57

February 17, 2009 at 7:36 pm

An act of indecency


By now everyone has succumbed to the latest factoid circulating around – that nude photos/video of Elizabeth Wong have been released to the public, implying some sort of ‘sex scandal’.

This is nothing more than a crime; an invasion of privacy. To paint it as a scandal is the work of a fool.

I don’t see a scandal here.

I read the Malay Mail’s story, which was surprisingly complimentary to Elizabeth and not the usual tabloid trash that I expected. Funny thing is they ran a high-and-mighty editorial claiming its none of their business and condemning the dissemination of the media.

Here’s a quote from their editorial – “In this vicious political environment of bitter rivalry, some will certainly see the opportunity to profit from this disgraceful violation.

Who ran (and tried to profit from) this story? What hypocrits.

I must count Khir Toyo in the company of fools as well. To be photographed nude/partially nude while asleep and unaware – how does that suggest immoral conduct? Its completely daft! Without further evidence to back it up he just comes across as a weak-minded individual.

However after some discussions with certain people I learned that there is a chance that Elizabeth may be forced to resign. It is hard for me to see the logic in that. Yes, we have two by-elections coming up. The photos could be used in the election to portray PKR as a party with immoral politicians. Is that reason enough?

Resignation would only show the voters nationwide that we cave in easily.

There were no indecent acts portrayed in the photos. Yet, there was an act of indecency. The individual(s) responsible for taking the images/footage and spreading it around – they are the ones committing indecent acts. They are the ones we should be cursing and condemning.


Its none of our business – Malay Mail (link)

Invasion of privacy – Malay Mail (link)

Nude photos: Exco lodges police report – Malaysiakini (link)

Selangor MB stands by embattled exco – Malaysiakini (link)

Factoid (noun) : A piece of unverified or inaccurate information that is presented in the press as factual, often as part of a publicity effort, and that is then accepted as true because of frequent repetition.

– American Heritage Dictionary

Written by ak57

February 17, 2009 at 3:15 am

Drop What You’re Doing

I liked NST’s headline on Wednesday (27th August), because it sums up my attitude towards the Permatang Pauh by-election nicely:

It’s Anwar, as expected.

When the by-election was announced it was obvious why Permatang Pauh was picked – it is the safest seat in the country for him to contest in. It was also a vital step in convincing BN MPs to cross-over, which I’ll get to in a moment.

I was a bit annoyed when I saw requests by elected PKR members for voters to donate money for Anwar’s campaign. It’s a common misconception in politics that whoever spends the most money has a better chance of winning. In this election there was no way for Anwar to lose, in fact BN needed money the most as their candidate is not a national icon.

Then there was the mass exodus of PKR members across the nation to Permatang Pauh. I was aghast to learn that many MPs and ADUNs travelled there to lend their support. If you asked me I think most just wanted to show face and share the spotlight with Anwar, to satiate their vanity.

I can understand MPs being a bit free as Parliament is already in session so whatever preparation they had to do for House Q&A had (ideally) been done. Even so, only 28 MPs were in attendance at one of the Parliament sittings so clearly both BN and Pakatan members were too caught up in the excitement.

But for those ADUNs serving in State governments? There is no end to the amount of work that needs to be done – the workings of the nation should not pause for one man.

They dropped whatever tasks they had going on and rushed there ‘to help’. Many of the strategists and thinkers in the party aren’t the ones in office today. So yes, I am disappointed by this cultist behaviour. The time spent in Permatang Pauh could have been put to better use in their respective constituencies.

Some voters’ reactions to the resulting cancellation of an important community project puzzled me – ‘Its ok, we understand, they have to support their leader’. They did not express anger or disappointment that the elected representative had reneged a promise to help without any apology.

I don’t believe voters should be this tolerant. It is not ok to accept responsibility for a task and just drop it when Anwar has a need. It is called ‘putting Party before Country’.

There is a justification for what happened. Anwar needed to show the BN MPs how much support he had, so calling in as many PKR members as possible across the country was important. Over 40,000 Opposition supporters were in Permatang Pauh – a historical gathering indeed.

It sends the message, “See all the free support that I can gather, no one in BN has this support from the people”. This election was not about electing an MP, but about inspiring crossovers and seizing control of the Federal Government.

You could argue then that their presence was needed. Realistically, it was the grassroots hordes that were needed the most – not the elected representatives and their aides.

I can’t help but feel sorry for the voters who got screwed over. I suppose the shared view of the voters is to take a loss now for a win later (September 16th crossovers).

But I won’t forget that for PKR members, their commitment to the people is secondary to their commitment to Anwar.

Written by ak57

August 31, 2008 at 3:52 am

Swearing On The Quran

This blog post contains my personal views on Islam and may be a bit too preachy for some. Please skip it if that bothers you.

I feel that the time is right for me to do my duty as a Muslim and Malaysian by doing what is right. With this, I swore in the name of Allah at the Federal Territory Mosque this evening in accordance to the teachings of Islam and as advised by religious scholars and teachers that I was sodomised by Anwar Ibrahim.

The oath I’ve taken was done voluntarily and it was done to uphold the truth as a Muslim, a Malay and a Malaysian.

I understand that if the allegations and oath that I’ve taken under the name of Allah are not true, I will be cursed by God and tragedy and curse will come upon my family and the generations after me forever.

I’ve taken this oath to prove that my allegations are completely true. This is the best way for me to attain justice in the world and the hereafter and for me to redeem my pride and dignity as Allah is the only place where I can complain to.

I’ve done this for God and I took my oath in the house of God, that I was humiliated and sodomised by Anwar Ibrahim and I do not wish to lie to the world as he has done.

With this, I challenge Anwar Ibrahim to swear by Islam and do it in a mosque, witnessed by religious scholars, teachers and all Malaysians to deny what I’ve accused him of.

– statement by Saiful to the press, published in Malaysiakini on 15th August 2008 (link)

Saiful’s act of swearing on the Quran and subsequent statement to the press really bothered me. It helps spread misconceptions about Islam to the public and was a pointless move.

Read the rest of this entry »

Written by ak57

August 19, 2008 at 4:48 pm

Forgotten Principles of Islam

This blog post may be a bit too preachy for some. If talk of Islam bothers you please skip it.

Recently a friend of mine forwarded me some articles Raja Petra had written on Islam which I found comforting to read. Our views are so aligned it’s almost as though we went to the same government and religious schools. It is not easy to talk about Islam in Malaysia without talking about Malays, but the topic of Malays alone would run for pages so I will try and focus on Islam.

In science and religion it is always important to know the principles first before learning implementation and techniques being used. I often feel saddened by the behaviour of Malay Muslims here who have lost sight of what the principles of Islam are.

What I will discuss here is my personal opinion on what these principles are – I am not a religious authority by any means, so feel free to disagree with my view of Islam. A few of these principles are:

  1. Helping others (regardless of race or religion)
  2. Honesty and justice in dealing with others
  3. Maintaining balance in life
  4. Pursuit of knowledge
  5. Shared brotherhood
  6. Society’s needs take precedence

Read the rest of this entry »

Written by ak57

July 31, 2008 at 9:58 pm

Posted in Personal

Tagged with ,